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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why can't Obama poke fun at himself? A: Because that would be racist."

"Why were screams coming from the kitchen? The cook was beating the eggs."

"I wondered how the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"What's a trees favorite drink? Root beer"

"What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish? His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!"

"I'm kind of a workplace bad boy. Once I called a dude 'fuckface' in a job interview. Then I didn't even give him the job."

"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."

"What did the botanist say to his assistant ""WATER THOSE!"""

"I'm 70% water and 40% bad at math."

"girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to ""constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones"" they stop replying to texts"