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Joke of the Day

"If you've never gotten out of the shower and dried off with paper towels, you probably do your laundry more often than I do."

"Every motorcycle cop is a liquid terminator until proven otherwise."

"Canada already has a wall that keeps out the Mexicans... Its called the United States."

"What do you call low class gay women? Plesbians"

"Sometimes I just like to sit on the couch and do nothing for 3 years."

"I USED VOLUME MAXIMIZING SHAMPOO THIS MORNING SO YES I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE OFFICER"

"Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic."

"Ladies, don't tell me you care about the environment if you don't support my ""Share a Shower"" water conservation program."

"I'm not a Reddit admin... But 20 McNuggets is 20 McNuggets"

"what idiot called it a best man instead of a lord of the rings"