149454

Joke of the Day

"Ladies, don't tell me you care about the environment if you don't support my ""Share a Shower"" water conservation program."

"If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black."

"The link in the text.... Stolen Bull semen. http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2016/01/22/nearly-50000-in-bull-semen-stolen-from-turlock-truck/"

"My wife said that my pen!s closely resembles a Tic Tac. She was proud of her remark until I asked her why her sister still has bad breath then."

"When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that *is* the IQ test."

"""Give it to me"" she screamed ""Give it to me I'm so fucking wet!"" But try as she might, she wasn't getting my umbrella."

"You can sign up for as many karate classes as you want there is literally no one monitoring this"

"YO MAMA SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDESHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON."

"Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you."

"There's 3 kinds of people in this world people who can count, and people who can't count"