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Joke of the Day
"Canada already has a wall that keeps out the Mexicans... Its called the United States."
Next Joke
"What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan? A Ramen Manual."
"Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over? A: A dirty double crosser."
"If you have 99 problems... ...you're a math textbook."
"If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it? Restaurants can't have sex you moron."
"What is the most crucial element of Oology? Eggsact measurements."
"My suit made entirely of Hello Kitty Bandaids did not help me much at my hospital interview. Apparently you have to go to medical school."
"""How fast can you hack into the system!?"" ""20-25 minutes."" ""You've got 10 minutes!"" ""Okay, well then I can't."" - real life spy dialogues"
"Do you get extra points for killing two birds with another bird?"
"Bloke walks up and asks ""Do you prefer long legs or short?"", so I reply ""I prefer something in between"""