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Joke of the Day

"What did the chicken say to the duck who was about to cross the road? ""Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!"""

"If the rapper Biz Markie had a female dog, he could name her... ...Miz Barkie I'll stop"

"What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle? Fiction."

"If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*."

"Damn girl, are you a huge piece of shit? Because you just slid right out of my asshole."

"A homeless lady agreed to let me take her home I don't understand why she got pissed when I loaded the cardboard box in my pickup truck."

"What does the day of election and Taco Tuesday have in common? So much shit is going down today."

"alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I'm batman."

"Playing Trivial Pursuit with Grandma: ""Name an animated character dedicated to cleaning up the planet, who loves Eva?"" Nana: ""Hitler."""

"If you're first on a YouTube comment thread, I assume you're last in pretty much everything else."