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Joke of the Day

"If the rapper Biz Markie had a female dog, he could name her... ...Miz Barkie I'll stop"

"My mom said if I don't stop using reddit she will bang my head on keyboard But I know she will never do that because she loves medssxcvnklkjfsaarfscnnlknvdgjjbcfggukkfrhhvvvrrjbzddsazvbdwjjhguoiufde"

"When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people."

"I slept through my girlfriend's alarm this morning and hit the ground running after her husband threw me out the window."

"Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed."

"What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date? Netflix and chill."

"I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade"

"Why are there no living cats on Mars? Because curiosity killed them all."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister."

"Where is everybody? Everybody? I don't know. All over the planet I guess."