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Joke of the Day

"Playing Trivial Pursuit with Grandma: ""Name an animated character dedicated to cleaning up the planet, who loves Eva?"" Nana: ""Hitler."""

"What did one redneck say to the other? If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich."

"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants"

"I wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything is gonna be okay and then just kinda turn into like $20,000 in cash."

"I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty."

"Bra's are also called over the shoulder boulder holder's. What do you call men's underwear? Under the butt nut hut."

"Why couldn't the mayonnaise kethup? Cuz he musturd."

"Therapist: Do you project your problems onto others? Me: Don't flip out, but I feel like you're asking me that to make yourself look smart."

"Why does nobody laugh at zombie-Peter Pan's jokes? He always tells them with a dead Pan face."

"What did one ISIS militant teacher say to their most successful student? You da bomb."