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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I want u to be more spontaneous ME: ok [later] ME: *hides in closet with goalie mask on waiting for her to walk by*"

"What does a feminist use as a contraceptive? Her personality"

"Did you hear about the blonde who put ""Sagittarius"" at the bottom of application forms where it said ""Sign Here""."

"All those years studying karate saved my life one night, when a man with a gun jumped out of nowhere and demanded I count to 10 in Japanese."

"4 out of 5 dentists agree u should not be going to 5 diferent dentists. it is important to have one dentist who knows ur dental history"

"Her legs spread so easy, I can't believe it's not butter."

"When black guys say ""ya feel me?"", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at."

"Warning: Dad Joke But it's a classic. Grasshopper walks into a bar and sits. Bartender says, ""Hey, we got a drink named after you."". Grasshopper says, ""Wow. You got a drink named Kevin?""."

"Two Goldfish were in a tank. What did one fish ask the other? So how do you drive this thing?"

"What is the difference between an oil painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang an oil painting."