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Joke of the Day

"I never really liked the word syllable. It's seems pretty full of itself."

"Do you like dragons? I'll be dragon deez nuts across ya head shortly."

"Actual text from 17 y/o son: kin u com bi nd swoop me? I hope he means hit him with my car, because that's the plan"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Fresh and white."

"My Grandfather told me ""Your generation relies too much on technology."" Me: ""No your generation relies too much on technology."" I then pulled out his life support."

"Why do only 2 Mexicans pass the border at once? Because the sign says no trespassing."

"Leaving Twitter for Facebook is like leaving the bar to go home."

"So a suicide bombing instructor walks into his classroom... ...and says, ""Okay, I'm only going to show you guys this once..."""

"Guy gets into a car wreck with a midget driver Midget steps out of his car, walks over to the other guy with a scowl and states, ""I'm not happy."" Guy responds. ""So which one are you?"""

"How cowboys are made ""Dad?"" ""Yes, son?"" ""Where do Cowboys come from?"" ""Well, son. When a cow and a boy love each other very, very much..."""