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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather told me ""Your generation relies too much on technology."" Me: ""No your generation relies too much on technology."" I then pulled out his life support."

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"Q: What breakfast food does Dr. Oz swear by? A: QUACKer Oaths."
"What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America? Antiquing."
"What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio? Sesame Street has an Oscar."
"My cookies fell in the toilet... [NSFW] My cookies fell in the toilet. Picked them up like a boss. Proceeded to eat them. They tasted like shit."
"HOW TO ROB A BANK: (1) Walk in and start talking about your study abroad experience. (2) Everyone's asleep now. Grab the money."
"My job blocked the Favstar website and I'm not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I'm totally taking hostages."
"I was braised by wild cannibals."
"If your drug dealer is on time, it's a cop."
"[OC] I went to prison for identity theft. Good news is I'm cell mates with a famous musician, bad news is I'm now Rick James' bitch"
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