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Joke of the Day

"How to deal with anger and resentment toward someone: 1. Write down feelings and put message in a bottle 2. Break bottle over person's head"

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"Inspecting mirrors Is a job I could really see myself doing it"
"How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof? Exactly the same."
"Seriously In 20 years time and you're at a pub quiz and a question starts with ""in what year"" Just answer 2016"
"Tie Me Up... One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""and you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."
"Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?"
"[Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*"
"So this guy comes in a smokeshop. No wait! A horse! So this guy comes in a horse"
"MAST JOKES: NICE JOKES HERE http://mastjoks.blogspot.in/2013/01/blog-post_6225.html#.UQPwWr-kpkg"
"Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards?? Cause they love the part when the hooker returns the money!"