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Joke of the Day

"Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip? Because potholder was already taken"

"holy shit imagine a crab bringing you breakfast on a tray like a lil waiter"

"What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium? Pandemonium breaks out."

"What do Caitlyn Jenner and my Chrysler have in common? They're both convertables."

"Why did the farmer give the pony a cough drop He was a little hoarse."

"Why didn't Thor like the party? It was too Loki."

"*on first date* Did you know that wool sweaters are the closest you can legally come to being inside a sheep?"

"Two lying, click-bait advertisers walk into a bar. You'll never believe what happens next!"

"I've never met a Friday I didn't like!"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in a McChicken."