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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games (alternate) But my preferred style in bed is up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start."

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"What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony? Pharaoh-moans."
"Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like ""is this about me?"" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like ""is that about me?"""
"This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob"
"The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw"
"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."
"him: [slipping my panties off] why are u wearing 2 pairs of panties me: I'm not him: [sliding another pair off] omg how many are u wearing"
"We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme."
"Ever heard of the 68 position? You go down on me now and I'll owe you one."
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7 They go after the guy who has killed 1000s of turtles The Ninja Turtles corner him Mario jumps on them all"