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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like ""is this about me?"" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like ""is that about me?"""

"Whats a cab drivers favorite song? Livin' on a fare!"

"why does snoop need an umbrella? for the drizzle."

"What did father bee say to his rebelling son? Beehive!"

"My longest relationship was when an Uber driver took me all the way to the airport once."

"Oscar If you're Leonardo, you must have got it by now."

"Cat was like, ""I've been trying to call you all day. 8888888888888888888888888884. That's you, right?"""

"Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company"

"Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016 Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision"

"Every time I watch cartoons I imagine how badly they must reek of B.O. because they're always wearing the same thing."