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Joke of the Day

"This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob"

"I made a company that disguises land mines as prayer mats... Prophets are through the roof"

"You are no longer what you eat. You are now your browser history."

"Whatever, Usain Bolt. I've been finishing in under 10 seconds for years."

"If it was the Well Constructed Tower of Pisa, no one would give a shit."

"3 unwritten rules of life: 1. 2. 3."

"-Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!"

"What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile? The spelling and pronunciation."

"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"

"What do you call a group of alcoholics with the same name? Alcoholics synonymous."