10052

Joke of the Day

"My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there."

"Why does it always have to be ""he's addicted to drugs""? Why can't it be, ""he's passionate about drugs""."

"Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks."

"I have this condition, I wake up at ten to nine every day... Doctor says it is nothing serious just a mild case of ten-to-ninetis."

"I was going to tell a joke about a popular rock band, but.. I'm going to need A Day To Remember."

"I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes."

"Where do dogs shop for groceries? Wagmans."

"What type of music do lightning bolts listen to? -Rock and Roll"

"What did the composer say on a date? ""I'm a Classic Romantic....I'm also Baroque."""

"I like my women like I like my scotch... Twelve years old and mixed with coke."