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Joke of the Day

"*accidentally uses flash while trying to take pic of funny looking person on the bus* ... *makes distant thunder noises with mouth*"

"R.I.P boiled water... You will be mist"

"Whats hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before.... A Key"

"People say I'm a stand up guy.. ....but I prefer to sit down when I can. Good morning everyone!"

"What Pokemon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro? Zikachu."

"87% of my day is spent remembering my kids names and my anniversary and stuff and the other 57% is trying to do math."

"I'm ""the cord popped out of the phone cause I tried to stretch it from the kitchen to my room"" years old"

"I found my first grey pube today. It put me right off my kebab."

"What does a man consider to be a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack."

"I go in hard and come out soft You blow me hard what am I? a stick of gum :D"