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Joke of the Day

"My 7 year old told us some nut jokes. What do you call a nut on a wall? A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach? A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet? A peanut!!"

"Saw a kid crying in the grocery store. I opened a bottle of A1 and chugged it right in front of him. He stopped crying and started nodding."

"My girlfriend is the best hooker in the country All her fellow rugby players agree."

"I hope farmers are as disappointed as I am by the kinds of people at the farmer's market."

"Blind date I went on a blind date with this girl to a bar and as soon as I saw her I knew what I was going to drink. She ordered juice, I ordered coffee to go."

"No matter how hard you push the envelope it's still stationary. thanks dad!"

"What do you call fake spaghetti? An *imposta.*"

"I looking a a good joke about Canada I need a joke about Canada for my Canadian co-worker. Please help."

"Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang. Your mom put an ad on Craigslist."

"How do you make a pheromone? Drive her sarcophagus down a gravel road."