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Joke of the Day

"Blind date I went on a blind date with this girl to a bar and as soon as I saw her I knew what I was going to drink. She ordered juice, I ordered coffee to go."

"The two things to remember when ur a pothead 1)U lose short term memory 2) Damn! I know there's something else"

"What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs? A condescending Khan descending."

"Where do fish deposit their money? River banks"

"I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis. So far it's got 3 Reichs on Facebook."

"Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,""So! What religion are you in for?"""

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick down someones throat."

"I was wondering why the night had to be this long... ...Then it dawned upon me."

"I wonder What happens when doctor's wife eats an apple a day?"

"""THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"" 2012: omg please no 2016: are we doing this or not"