1004

Joke of the Day

"Can't believe my neighbors don't have any rum. How am I supposed to enjoy their hot tub while they're on vacation?"

"""Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy"" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL"

"Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them ""Jesus is the reason for the seizin"""

"A friend of mine has a trophy wife... apparently it wasn't first place."

"I want a pet otter just so I can introduce it as my otter half."

"I used to be an expert on the DunningKruger effect... ...but then I began to learn more about it."

"Had phone sex then I got hearing aids. EDIT: then"

"So, two pedophiles are talking... One of them says to the other ""I never really liked racing, I always come in a little behind."""

"What did the rock say when he had to leave his girlfriend for a long time? I pumice I'll come back soon!"

"Have you ever played the game of pocket tennis? ..it's when you like keeping your hands in your pocket, when you have holes in them and you're not wearing any underwear."