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Joke of the Day

"'Pizza Hut, can I take your order?' Me: 'May I speak with the owl, please?' 'Who?' Me: 'Hahaha, that never gets old! Large pepperoni.'"

"Why don't midgets like barbecues? because the steaks are too high."

"If there was a male cow made out of earth... That would be terrible."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass."

"Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password? Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily] THIS IS A FUNERAL Me: *[Types in] THIS IS A FUNERAL"

"Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"Lindsay Lohan says she can't walk down the street without men chasing her. They're drug dealers Lindsay pay your debts.."

"Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she's gained weight."

"Why can't witches get pregnant? Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!"

"I can prove that primates don't exist... Eight divides evenly by 2 or 4."