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Joke of the Day

"Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. ""I'd like to talk to you about modern science """

"What do you call an epileptic in a deck chair? A transformer."

"Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say ""you suck"" so the target still gets the message"

"Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies."

"Limericks eh ? There was this girl from Boston, Mass. She wade into the sea and wet her ankles, it doesn't rhyme now, but just wait until the tide comes in"

"Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? *sobbing* - You said you'd never forget."

"TWITTER REHAB IS GOING GOOD YOU GUYS I GOT A NEW FRIEND HE HAS SPECIAL SUGAR AND IT'S AWESOME AND MY YARD HAS 3,957,268 BLADES OF GRASS!!!!"

"How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for isn't it?"

"What is cookie monsters favorite war? Vietnom nom nom nom"

"*waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*"