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Joke of the Day

"*waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*"

"How do I know that Trump will be our next president? Because Orange is the new Black."

"How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any kids? Because everytime his wife gets hot ,he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. :-P"

"I like my women like I like my wine. Locked in a cellar."

"My uncle told me he only had three days left to live. So to cheer him up I stabbed him in the jugular vein... &nbsp; He didn't get it."

"im smart. if asian equals pi then four times four is sixteen told you i was smart..."

"What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon? He got lemonaids."

"[offensive] What do books have that Mexican's don't? Papers"

"The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you."

"What's Fozzy Bear's favorite city? Mil-wocka-wocka-waukee"