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Joke of the Day

"What receives a man's first blowjob? An NES cartridge."

"Didn't u hate it when as a kid u got the ""mystery flavor"" lollipop & the mystery ended up being that your parents got divorced (Or lemon)?"

"What so you call a bulldog mixed with a shih tzu? A bull shiht"

"What do a walrus and a Tupperware container have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"I was disappointed when it turned out the axe I bought to climb with was useless for the job... it was an anti-climb axe"

"I have the best prison name Mitochondria"

"What do you call a sad elk? Lachry-moose"

"""Are you on Facebook?"" ""No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline"" (Nailed it)"

"Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way."

"My daughter called Neapolitan ice cream ""three-way"" ice cream & I'm not sure I'll correct her cuz I'm a horrible person & it makes me laugh."