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Joke of the Day

"""Are you on Facebook?"" ""No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline"" (Nailed it)"

"Bee population worldwide is exploding. What a time to be a hive."

"I figured out why we abbreviate BlowJob with BJ 'cuz it's a mouthful"

"Watermelons and Catcuses There are two watermelons and two cacti. One cactus says to the other ""Damn look at those melons!"" The Watermelons reply ""Wow they're such pricks."""

"I'll take two glasses of lemonade please... ...said the man. But hold the ""ades"". Waitress: So you just want two lemons? Man: No, I just don't want AIDS."

"I asked Dad why we put cookies on the counter for Santa.. Dad replied ""because thats the way the cookie crumbles"""

"Douce! The sound of a water balloon hitting a ""Trick Or Treater"" square in the face. Now try and have a Happy Halloween."

"/r/Pyongyang is a.... [Fun and Happy Place!]"

"I love my women like I love my Ikea furniture, cheap and missing a couple screws"

"Ma'am, your son is dead. Why, what happened, officer? He wasn't white and that wasn't right, we found he was black, and that was whack, so we shot him in the back."