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Joke of the Day

"John 10:26 Holy shit I gotta get up for work!"

Next Joke
 
"I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers"
"If you want to be remembered when you die... Borrow money from everyone you know"
"What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car? Steamed Vegetable."
"Answer: Marijuana Question: Why am I sitting here on the couch eating ice cream with a fork, watching Telemundo and wearing one sock?"
"Britain just left the EU! But they'll be alright... After all, you always lose a few pounds after a break up."
"What do you call an abusive pothead? A weed whacker."
"A guy once told me that his favorite pastime was calculating averages. I asked him, ""What do you mean?"""
"What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy? A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one."
"Why are there windows on the back of French tanks? So they can watch the battle"