197430

Joke of the Day

"I have this weird fungal infection on my leg. I need to get rid of it, but it's kind of growing on me. (Sorry if repost, came up with it in science class today.)"

"I often break into song The keys are so well hidden"

"I wanted to stop for McDonald's this morning but the line was too wide."

"Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour."

"Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up."

"I hope the guy who named the ""walkie talkie"" called his home phone ""standie talkie"" and his toilet ""sittie shitty""."

"Schools are giving kids a bad influence nowadays..... When they go into the real world they'll be expecting free handouts."

"I'd tell you the joke about the philosopher but I think only a Nietzsche audience would understand it."

"What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic? Toot and Car Man."

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"