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Joke of the Day

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey... ...but then I turned myself around."

"Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google."

"Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur"

"I prefer shampoo to the real thing."

"You're supposed to pee on a Jellyfish sting and not a jelly stain? Well that was really embarrassing."

"A baby seal walks into a club.."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom xDDddd"

"Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber."

"My highschool sweet heart is the mother of my two children. But apparently, my wife isn't too happy about it."