99560

Joke of the Day

"If anyone needs me, I'll be at the hospital leaving robots and newspapers from the year 2310 in the rooms of coma patients."

"A feminist and a reddit admin walk into a bar... Just kidding, they couldn't fit through the door."

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell"

"Randomly screaming and moaning in agony is a great way to get a seat by yourself on a packed bus."

"How do thunderstorms invest their money? -In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets"

"What's the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes? My pizza jokes *can't be topped!*"

"Um, guys, whaddya do with a 5 y.o. at an aquarium who's hysterical because she sees Dory in a tank and I kind of need to know right now."

"Lindt Chocolate are to make a new Chocolate bar to commemorate the terrorist attack on its cafe in Sydney It will be called allahu akBAR"

"Where did Santa meet his wife? Conjunction Junction. They specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses"

"Local News: GREG JOHNSON, 41, ESCAPES BEING EATEN BY BEAR Bear News: FOOD NAMED GARG RUNS FROM LUNCHTIME"