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Joke of the Day

"A feminist and a reddit admin walk into a bar... Just kidding, they couldn't fit through the door."

"My mom once got drunk and stabbed me because I look like my Father... ...But hey the past is the past. She's sober now and I can finally walk again."

"When the only light in your world is suddenly gone ...it's time to recharge your phone."

"Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !"

"If you're sad & lonely If you're sad, lonely & home alone always watch good horror movie & you will feel someone's presence with you."

"How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg"

"Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain"

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"Why dont Egyptian Chefs do well in the circus? They always fal-afel off the tight rope."

"I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial"