116134

Joke of the Day

"Um, guys, whaddya do with a 5 y.o. at an aquarium who's hysterical because she sees Dory in a tank and I kind of need to know right now."

"Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts."

"...we came in"" Roger Waters favourite line is ""Is this where..."

"A woman was having a shower When the doorbell rang. ""It's me, the blind man."" And she didn't open the door because she has public decency and doesn't stop her showers for strangers."

"What's the best way to cheer on an electrician? You con-du-it!!!"

"What's long and hard on a black man? The third grade."

"It's claimed Macaulay Culkin's health problems are linked to a difficult childhood. No sh1t. His parents forgot to take him on holiday 4 times"

"""Good timing, Ke$ha"" I say as her song starts playing on the radio and I turn on the vacuum cleaner."

"how come paul simon gets all the first names and art garfunkel just gets random words"

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine? A: She demanded $200000 and a parachute."