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Joke of the Day

"STUDENT: Will there be a final? PROFESSOR: Does a bear shit in the woods? BEAR STUDENT: *from the back row* Thats none of your damn business"

"*Whispers, spitters are for quitters. ~Wine tasting, you pervs!"

"You know those old movies with Jackie Chan where he is reluctant to fight in the beginning, but then he warms up starts swinging like there is no tomorrow?! ... I'm the same way with drinking."

"What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse? A brothel sprout"

"Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback"

"I hate when I press 1 for English and still get an Indian person."

"Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room."

"Never trust anybody who has graph paper. They're always plotting something."

"How do you circumsize a redneck? kick his sister in the jaw"

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."