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Joke of the Day

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."

"my doctor gave me 2 months to live when i told him i wouldnt be able to pay off my medical bills by then, he gave me another 2 months"

"What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire? ""My ears are burning!"""

"Why could Donald Trump never be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts."

"i dont swirl my wine because im sophisticated i do it because i can barely stand"

"I actually have to see a specialist for daily sex. I mean dyslexia."

"Yes, in fact I DO know what it's like to bleed like crazy once a month. That's my flossing schedule."

"How does a frog fasten two objects together? Rivets."

"Why couldn't Mewtwo move? There was too much friction."

"What's denser than a black hole? Your ex."