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Joke of the Day

"*Whispers, spitters are for quitters. ~Wine tasting, you pervs!"

"A day without sunshine is like, night."

"Sure I'll join your Cause on Facebook...Right after I jump out of an airplane without a parachute..."

"*Shoves a guy* I think you mean the SECOND biggest ""The Sound of Music"" fan on earth, bro."

"When is my wife's favorite day to make love? Tomorrow"

"Is snapping not cool anymore? Figures. I just mastered the Macarena last month too."

"Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex? Because the Rabbis got to choose first."

"Why are fat girls so good at giving head? Because they have to be."

"an attractive man on the internet called me pretty, so I sent him my finger nails in the mail. i'm so nervous lol what if he doesn't reply??"

"What do you call allergy season without any Kleenexes? A tissue"