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Joke of the Day

"""Yous ain't passin'!"" - Gandolfini"

"(Real news) In Florida, a truck filled with $120,000-worth of chocolate was stolen. Police warn the thieves could be armed and PMSing."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Aaaaaagggccchhhhmmmm....!!!"

"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek."

"I built an electric fence around my house. My neighbour is dead against it."

"Anybody else miss a time when if you REALLY wanted to show a pop idol you loved them, you assassinated them? (ATTN Bieber fans)"

"NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark. It's a phenomenon called ""Night""."

"Wrong number Some guy keeps texting ""stand and deliver"" to me. I keep telling him he's got the wrong number, but he's adamant"

"You can't have your cake and thigh gap too."

"I'm jealous of Santa... ...he can yell ""hoe hoe hoe"" at anyone and get away with it."