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Joke of the Day

"Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends. Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you? Walter: It's on the house."

Next Joke
 
"Most 00's kids won't get these... Decent jobs"
"I'm gonna vote for Trump at elections... Cuz I a'int ever seen a president assassinated"
"Don't ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like ""always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."""
"I told my kids ""I slept like a baby last night, Woke up at 1am and fussed until your mom stuck a boob in my mouth."""
"When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays."
"ORAL SEX At this stage of our marriage, me and the wife only practice oral sex. Whenever we pass each other, we both say , 'fuck you.'"
"I'm tired.... I hear there is a nap for that."
"Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now"
"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."