9646

Joke of the Day

"Tinder announced a new feature this week which gives users 37 gender options to choose from And it's now easier than ever to avoid matching with the mentally unstable"

"Did you hear about the guy who's left arm and leg got cut off? He has **crippling** depression"

"It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a cockroach move out. ""Good luck,"" he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases."

"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"*Police bust through door* -QUICK FLUSH ALL THE SUGAR -WAIT, WHY!? -I DON'T KNOW, THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES!"

"What's the worst part about being black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"If blind people wear sunglasses Shouldn't deaf people wear earmuffs?"

"Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go"

"""Dad that's ridiculous, Hitler didn't invent Pokemon"" [Checks Google] ""Well I'll be damned"""

"What did Sonic the Hedgehog say during Ramadan? ""Gotta go fast!"" ^I'll^see^myself^out..."