99438

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just got a very interesting fortune cookie: Every exit is an entrance to a new experience' ""Wow"" she said, ""are you thinking what I'm thinking?"" I fcuking hope so."

"What do you get when you mash up an avagadro? Guacamole."

"A police officer mistakenly arrested a judge who was dressed as a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned that you should never book a judge by their cover."

"Regarding the molestation jokes. A lot you guys may not know this, but molestation... Is a very touchy subject. I'm sorry. Did that joke rub you the wrong way?"

"A man and a boy walk into the woods together at night Boy: ""It's dark and scary in here"" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone"""

"Comedy legend Joan Rivers passed away. Hundreds of plastic surgeons mourn the loss of their jobs."

"Why do seagulls live by the Sea..? ..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it."

"I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club."

"If you ask someone out and they say no, try it again in a few minutes wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. #cool"

"What's Canada's intelligence agency called? The C.I. Eh"