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Joke of the Day

"A man and a boy walk into the woods together at night Boy: ""It's dark and scary in here"" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone"""

"Has anybody seen my keys? theyre awesome."

"When's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty"

"My neighbor, an elderly prostitute, adopted a puppy and asked me if I could help train it. I told her ""No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."""

"Autocorrect changed smell to spell but you know what? Your spelling is horrible too."

"A drunk driver gets pulled over by a cop The cop asks him ""how high are you?"" The drunk driver then says ""isn't it supposed to be hi, how are you?"""

"What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich? A sub routine."

"My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted."

"A priest opens a restaurant... and calls it ""Braise the Lord"""

"Given the number of tampon's wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real."