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Joke of the Day

"A police officer mistakenly arrested a judge who was dressed as a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned that you should never book a judge by their cover."

"My wife asked me for a double-entendre.... .....so I gave her one."

"At a First Date Conversation At a first date: He: ""I work with animals every day!"" She: ""Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"" He: ""I'm a butcher."""

"My girlfriend asked me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" And I answered: ""Of course! I'd miss you, but I still love you"""

"What's even harder to find than Bigfoot, UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, and diamonds in Minecraft? The real download button on Softpedia.com"

"Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens."

"[describing sketch artist to criminal] He was pretty good at drawing pictures."

"My friend would be alive today... if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. >""Am I going to live?"" >""I don't know."" >""Read faster!"""

"I like my sheds the way I like my strip clubs... ...dark and full of hoes"

"What did Jesus become after they nailed him to the cross? Holey."