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Joke of the Day

"Why do seagulls live by the Sea..? ..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it."

"What do you call a country of grizzlies that is always stoned? A hibearnation."

"Every trip to the supermarket is a game of ""Dodge The Indecisive Old People With My Cart."""

"Hey bro, how did you get so strong? By picking up chicks in the gym"

"It's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I don't want a minivan."

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"Why does everyone hate Hitler? The man was a hero... After all he did kill Hitler"

"Do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period."

"The four states of matter: Solid Liquid Gas Black"

"Today I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof I was shocked!"