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Joke of the Day

"I was going to write a joke about the pentagon... But I gave up when I couldn't find the right angle."

"What's the fastest way to get a female Officer to arrest you? Liquor."

"Nice try ""Enjoy By"" date on bag of broccoli, nice try."

"Who will stop Donald Trump? The First Amendment people."

"[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] ""What did the priest have to say?"" ""He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."""

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon balls!"

"A drunk goes to a Horse track... and asks the a horse if he's going to win. The horse replies ""Just say Neigh to gambling!"""

"fire the chauffeur! Wife: ""I'm gonna fire our chauffeur!!! He's such a pathetic driver, this is the third time he almost got me killed...."" Husband: ""Dear, lets give him another chance."""

"I just heard a beautiful poem... ""I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig, we all dig."" I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep."

"The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. ""Look guys,"" I explain. ""When I said I had a pot belly..."""