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Joke of the Day

"fire the chauffeur! Wife: ""I'm gonna fire our chauffeur!!! He's such a pathetic driver, this is the third time he almost got me killed...."" Husband: ""Dear, lets give him another chance."""

Next Joke
 
"I'm practicing emotional abstinence I haven't given a fuck in years"
"Gold walks into a bar... So gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out! I show myself out..."
"I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon."
"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."
"Gonna start rapping about women's rights... Call me Feminem."
"Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth? He wanted to smoke a joint!"
"What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand? O Cristor Redundant"
"Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage. Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident."
"So my dog told me it was into BDSM So I tied it up and turned on the vacuum cleaner"