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Joke of the Day
"Who will stop Donald Trump? The First Amendment people."
Next Joke
"Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it was pissed off. (Also sorry)"
"Me: Do you have any dreams? Him:...I'm running on a giant hamster wheel and a squirrel wearing a tuxedo comes... Me: ASPIRATIONS YOU IDIOT"
"What did the sarcastic left hand say to the right hand? ""You always think you're right!"""
"What do you call a masochist looking for a hookup? Cruisin' for a bruisin'"
"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking."
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Japan stays in Japan Until she turns 18, that is."
"Girls that are 16 and pregnant may look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34."
"This is just a quick reminder that we're all gonna die one day so don't get caught up in petty shit also stop stealing my tweets Greg."
"Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday? Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!"