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Joke of the Day

"Son, your chimpanzee girlfriend is tearing this family apart."

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm count ? Your girlfriend has to chew before she can swallow,"

"What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt ? 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'"

"What does Dracula say to his victims? It's been nice gnawing you."

"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? 'cause she's a woman!"

"What do you call a place monks go for Halloween? A monascary"

"Wife: What did you get me for Mother's Day? 3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it? 3: You haven't made it yet."

"How I fall asleep People get jealous of me because of how fast I fall asleep so I'm going to share my secret. First of all, ally you have to do is close your ey..."

"I'm not saying she's a slut but she's had more people inside her than the statue of liberty!"

"the average Russian day When you ask a Russian how his day is going. ""It is an average day today: not as good as yesterday, but better than tomorrow."""