99388

Joke of the Day

"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"My IQ score says I'm intelligent. My dating history disagrees."

"Relationships are about compromise. I pretend she's not watching a Gossip Girl boxset. She pretends I'm not digging her grave in the garden."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""BREATHE DAMMIT!!"""

"Men are not sexist Because being sexist is wrong and being wrong is what women do."

"I'm finishing off this bottle of wine because you never know when an asteroid is gonna hit and I'd hate to waste the $6.49 I spent on it."

"Why did the gymnast's account get sent to collections? She had an outstanding balance."

"I went to library to check out a book on suicide. The librarian asked me ""who would bring it back?"""

"The swordsman thought he won his fight but in fact His opponent feinted"

"Why do asians squint all the time? Because nukes are so bright"