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Joke of the Day

"There's a new TV show on AMC about people who run away from grains and wheat. I hear they call it The Walking Bread."

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"What is a nazi's favourite food? Luftwaffles"
"What do you call a shirt missing its sleeves? An ampu-tee."
"[interrogation] ""Where were u on the night of the 3rd?"" Stabbing a homeless man. ""Louder for the tape?"" Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift."
"What do you call a group of fundamentalist mathematicians? Al-Gebra"
"Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence."
"Kids are like smoking cigarettes. I love them for about 5 minutes a day, until I realize that they are slowly killing me. Jim Jefferies"
"What do you call a person from South America with a walking assist? Mexicane."
"I overheard my daughter asking the little boy next door, ""Are you the opposite sex, or am I."""
"Shitting myself about this Ebola situation... Which is worrying, because that's one of the symptoms."