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Joke of the Day

"Kids are like smoking cigarettes. I love them for about 5 minutes a day, until I realize that they are slowly killing me. Jim Jefferies"

"Clearly Cheating A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"What kind of phone does The Flash use? Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash"

"I think the only girl I know that hasn't said ""you're like a brother to me"" is my sister."

"I just taught the dance floor a fucking lesson."

"Want to make sure you don't walk in on anyone masturbating when you get home? Try opening a bag of chips quietly when you get to your street"

"Q: What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint? A: Both crews were marooned."

"What do you call a sheep with no legs ? A cloud."

"Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb? It's blowing up"

"Simba was walking too slow... So I told him to Mufasa."