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Joke of the Day

"Girls can be so ungrateful sometimes... I made breakfast in bed for her and instead of saying ""Thank you"", she was all shouty like ""How the hell did you get in my house...?"""

"I'm Canadian so if I ever apologize to you, know that it was a reflex and not sincere."

"Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Cause he wanted to get along little doggie."

"Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign? It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation."

"Why do nuns never wear a bra? God supports everything."

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"I've got a friend who is a structural engineer. He's always complaining about stress at work. EDIT: damn I wish I got karma for this post."

"Sarcasm: confusing stupid people and pissing off idiots everywhere."

"I suffer from terrible insomnia But on the bright side it's only three more sleeps till Christmas."

"Yeah, it IS true that migrants do the jobs you don't wanna do. Like being a suicide bomber."