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Joke of the Day

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas... How he got into my pajamas, I don't know. - Groucho Marx"

"Sometimes I think I am a bad mother because I don't like wine."

"Are you all allright? No, you are all left"

"Want to hear a joke about /r/science ? [Deleted]"

"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"*watches a movie with you* *loudly beeps during all the good parts*"

"Wife told me she wants to have sex in the back of the car... She asked me if I could drive :-( Credit to Legend Rodney Dangerfield"

"Two prostitutes are standing on the corner. One asked the other, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?"" The prostitute replies, ""No, but I've been swung by my tits."""

"Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?"

"Got a text from my girlfriend, thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative.' I wonder what ternative' means?"